“The Whip Will Eat Meat”

Dear Our President,

Sir, when we started this friendship I proposed to tell you what people whispered to me in alleyways and dark rooms. You were happy and agreed. Sir we did not make provision for shouting. Yes, shouting or shrieking, or whooping, or bellowing. (Lapor has used his dictionary). I think my ears must be insured.

Sir, that is why I am going to the hospital. Sir, they thundered in my ears. They said “the whip will eat meat”. That is exactly what they said. You should have gone to a local school so I don’t have to explain such pithy expressions. In our schools, on every caning occasion, which were many, the teacher and the unaffected students shouted this. Our bottoms and palms were a feast for the cane.

They say with all these powerful ministers and coordinators, dirt, rubbish and offensive smells should be a thing of the past. They say it is not your duty to descend into drains or wield the ceremonial broom, and dance mess up, or kpanlogo, for photographers to click away at. They say there should be no National Day for Sanitation. Every day should be a National Day for Sanitation.

They say Accra, and Kumasi are smelly. They are dirty. The people want action now. They say all it takes is some reorganization and a little cracking of the whip sometimes. Meanwhile the people you pay who should do this take their pay, sit in their offices as if their bottoms have been glued to their chairs and receive homage.
They say all communities, from local authorities to the municipal should make a list of their sanitation and other problems. The powers that be, (all those small boys and girls who love and crave to be called honorable) should then present a schedule and a means for solving these. Sir, they say you should be hard on them, because they are the ones who will make or unmake your Presidency. In fact force them to be Citizens, not Subjects, but if they refuse, make them subjects and let the whip eat meat.

Sir, as usual, the people have done their research. They say you give these people pick-up trucks, saloon cars, bungalows, allowances, per diems, study leaves, and a good salary. They must perform or dance at the instruction of the cane.
Sir, the people brought their own small list which I am willing to share. (I am always generous).
1. Every house must have a gutter or soak-away. Many do not. They carry the waste water from inside their houses and pour them on the roads. Their excuses often include the fact that the government has not tarred their road, and they use the water to reduce the dust. However the water often includes stuff I cannot name here.
2. People have created livestock markets in public places. They often use the festivals of Christmas and Id as excuses, and keep these markets in operation long after these festivals. They have a negative effect on our health.
3. Motor Parks are not markets and restaurants. Of course people must eat when they are traveling, but they must not buy diseases along with their meals. The chopbars do not have running water. The same basin of water is used over and over again to wash the plates and cutlery. The waste water is then disposed of in gutters that do not have any running water. That leads to a horrible stench as the food particles rot.

Sir, I do not want to do the work of those honorables for them so I will keep the rest. After all, you still have not issued the appointment letter and the cash. Ouch, my ears.

Bye-bye. As always, this has been your great talebearer